The call I thought I was prepared for....the call I was in denial about.
Let's face it. No one can ever really be prepared for THAT phone call you get from a Doctor.
I was out walking when it came. I can even show you on the mountain where I was standing when it came.
A year.
Quite frankly, as I write these words, I never thought I would still be here.
Now a year has gone by. I survived my surgery. My first test has come back showing no recurrence. No spread. It will be a process I go through every 6 months for the next 5 years.
So what did I learn? What was it all for?
I wrestle with that. I'm not "out of the woods", I realize that.
I am trying to number my days. Does my life count? Did it count? How can I change what I need to change for the future....a future that I can't assume is there?
These are my thoughts in the night.
2 comments:
Mr. Gerk, I have some experience with what you have faced and are facing. The following words have been helpful.
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets into you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green
and azure blue,
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.
When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
John O’Donohue
Awesome...thanks Wayne!!
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